I was just exhausted. I didn't want to do anything, and whenever bedtime approached I had heart palpitations thinking about how many times I would have to get up at night and "comfort him". Because the article said we need to comfort our babies all night long or else they will become serial killers. I decided to sleep train. It was hard. It was all out war between me and Ibby. He didn't want to sleep. He wanted me to rock him, nurse, and walk him around his room all night. As much as I love doting on my child, I needed my rest. After a week of tears and frustration, he started sleeping through the night. No more swings, swaddle, and me stumbling back and forth from my room to his. It was magical. My life changed. I brushed my hair in the morning, became a functional human being, and am occasionally social. He still wakes up sometimes, and if he cries for longer then half an hour, I go in there to see what the problem is, so I am not the devil.
After I commented about it, a few mothers indirectly jumped down my throat. I can almost hear the tsk tsk in their voices. "What a horrible mother. I still get up with my 6 year old at night and comfort him. True, I look like I have aged 20 years, and still cannot have a decent conversation or accomplish any tasks because I'm up all night, but my baby is going to be a wonderful adult." Sorry Dr. Sears and all you loving moms out there. But my child cried himself to sleep. Me sleeping made me a better mother for my child, so I am all for crying it out, its either that or me crying all night and all day.